drink
"I believe that if life gives you lemons you make lemonade . . . and you try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
-- Ron White

money
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
-- Lana Turner

happiness
"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy."
-- Robert Anthony

misc
"A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name."
-- Evan Esar

time
"It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead."
-- Rose Macaulay

change
"Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are."
-- Bertolt Brecht

music
"I only know two pieces; one is Clair de Lune and the other one isn't."
-- Victor Borge

sex
"Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk."
-- Andy Gibb

sport
"A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other."
-- Samuel Johnson

words
"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever."
-- Anonymous